I find myself in the company of youngsters when I do get tired of playing solitaire. I attribute this pairing not to a personal preference but to the open willingness of the young and her lack of failed relationships in her life. Recently I am without my companion who completed me and now am facing the void. My nature is incapable of quickly substituting a replacement and need to let time run its course. Projecting a few months forward to the cold dark days of winter, I am aware of how the confluence will extract its toll on my well being.

Oh no, so let me pull back and objectify. I developed a skill at reverse engineering software. I would do the forensics and take the code, look at the outputs and observer the flow and arrive at an understanding of its functioning. This would process would aid in my understanding more then abstracts or documentation, which would inevitable would be out of sync with the working system. Why do I segue and change topics? It is exactly what I am attempting to do with the forces that control my life. I know I am out of my league and that analyzing your own life is a fool’s folly, full of rationalizations and distorted perceptions. But it is not going to stop this fool from trying. The day is beginning and the light is appearing over the trees. I am ready to begin it all again.