I have figured January is the month to suffer through. Lost loves and loneliness seem to go hand in hand with the cold dark weather. Its predictability makes it all the more bearable; now dismiss the negative feeling that comes over me as a seasonal issue. Today, first time in a long time, there was a warm ray of sun that fell on the snowy ground; giving hope spring is just around the corner, a time when the joy of life just bubbles over. I love and I hate that these feeling well up in me, but wound not swap them for the cold rational armor that I have set aside.