The events of the past few months indicate that I won’t be heading back there soon. Bear Stearns, my old employer was the first to go. I like to believe that it was my unwillingness to participate in the greed and distortion that booted me from the industry. What I loved about working in the financial industry was creating the engineering backbone, using math and data to make the relationship between equities clear. What ended up was creating deals that flew under the radar in the form of off balance sheet instruments. That maximized trader’s return and pushed the liability to the future.
Maybe I was wrong. I could have played the game and now be better able to take of others. As for me I am better off. While working in the movie industry is nowhere near as lucrative as finance it affords me a sense of peace, the deception is the art not the swindle.

With Tanya, life is exciting now. We share much, such as technology and personal passions. She is the reason I've renewed my efforts in this website. Tanya has set up a portal within, writing her own thoughts online. Therefore, it is time to fix a few bugs and determine what can be improved.
It looks like there might be an opportunity to combine my two careers-software and video. I am scheduled to begin working on a film production that will combine both; I am excited at the prospects.



Above is a picture from my high school reunion. It was great to enjoy the event with familar friends. Tanya and I had a blast.

This would not be the first time I worked at developing a system to solve a problem. Many years ago I spent long hours with a HP 9845 computer attempting to do something similar with a computer and film production. But then machines were only fast enough to manage the documentation not the audio and video signals. I never achieved that goal but the skills I learned landed me on Wall Street.

Now there are indications the time is right to invest in a video platform. Intel Core 2 Duo and PCI express are faster then what had proceeded. The Internet seems to be all a buzz with video made possible with high speed connections and sites like YouTube and Google video.

I ordered the small form factor PC, a Shuttle box XPC and a Black Magic Decklink video capture card as a system to achieve a portable video platform. The film industry is dominated by the Apple Macintosh but I chose to develop on the PC platform. A architecture I worked extensively with.

I find projects evolve so it is not wise to lock into a restricted system. Film production and post production is moving towards high definition video. So off I go attempting to unite my film production and software experience.

Because it is a good idea does not mean it will be easy. One item that is complicating the solution is DRM. Having developed many solutions with Microsoft technologies-Office, ASP.net, and Visual Basic I felt the technology would be capable to handle recording of video and audio streams and allow me to customize a front end to handle the job. Fifteen years ago I was able to build office systems that streamed data back and forth from UNIX machines with TCP/IP sockets how much harder could it be?

Not so easy I found out. The ease of scripting and all machines connected to the Internet makes a computer a perfect breeding ground for computer viruses. Microsoft worked to address this weakness, has been focused with security with Vista.. When Vista was finally released its security changes made many windows XP video drivers unusable. In addition to this difficulty, DRM software was added to make it difficult for content protected media to be copied from the computer. With the addition of a “tilt bit” in Vista media delivery any anomalies will destroy the signal. As it turns out what I want to do is very similar to what corporations are trying to control-video recording.

For now I am working on multiple solutions, First Vista with its advanced features and DRM; Or Windows XP with compatible drives and software but not designed for real time video; Or Linux and open soft software with all the capability to do what I want but requiring heavy development to make it work. Or use some combination.
Now you can see why I have not made an entry on this site. But I am glad to start for at least it is helpful to jot down the issues.

The set they've been shooting at for the last week and a half is pretty far into New Jersey, so the crew was given hotel rooms at a nearby Days Inn, which was actually quite comfortable. Since the hotel wasn't very far from the train, I commuted out each day to keep Philip company. Although it's a bit of a long trip, it was in fact pretty civilized and I have to give kudos to Skyview Taxi in Somerville, their service was excellent. We did manage to enjoy our sort of 'working vacation', lol.

The previous weekend I joined Philip for a bit while they were filming at the Jersey Gardens Mall in Elizabeth, and I was able to see them shoot a scene with Queen Latifah (love her!), Terrence Howard and Faizon Love. The Christmas decorations were very elaborate! Someone on the crew told me that a woman came by, and not realizing that it was a movie shoot said, "They start earlier and earlier every year..." hee hee!

Philip is not off the hook after today; tomorrow he has to be downtown at 7am (ugh) to load out the equipment from the shoot. And, he also has to load in for the next film he will be working on, "Christmas in New York" (yes, another Christmas movie believe it or not) which starts with two weeks of night shoots on Monday. It's an Italian film and a screwball comedy which looks like a lot of fun. It would have been nice for Philip to have a break between films, but that's the movie biz!

It has been fascinating to observe, and I'm learning so much about the filmmaking process. Ho ho ho!

As if we hadn't gotten enough of movies from Philip helping to make them(!), we ventured out last weekend to see "Idlewild", a musical featuring the group OutKast -- André Benjamin and Big Boi (LOVE the song "Vibrate", which they used a bit of in the film), set in the prohibition-era 30s. The film also featured two of the actors that appear in "Perfect Christmas", Faizon Love (I think that's such a fabulous name!) and Terrence Howard. I thought they both gave great performances, Faizon I almost didn't recognize because the makeup was so good, and Terrence really steals the show! We both enjoyed the movie quite a bit, it was very entertaining.

Things seem to be going relatively smoothly so far; there is quite an array of personalities on set but Philip has avoided any substantial conflict. There was one equipment breakdown today, but Philip had a spare on hand so no harm was done. Fortunately we have been able to stay in touch via modern technology, IMing back and forth with our Treo 650s and various computers.

Now the pattern seems to be long, long days and time-consuming commutes, leaving only enough time at home to squeeze in a few precious zzz's before heading out again. I am amazed at the stamina required to do this kind of work. I don't think I would be able to handle it! But despite having caught a slight cold, Philip is managing to get through the days (and nights).

I prevailed with the ardor of the job and am preparing to repeat the effort on a film beginning in a week. This film ‘Year of the Dog’ www.imdb.com is a story about mid life crisis, a story more fitting then twenty-something anxiety of the earlier film.

I read A few interesting books this past year. One “The World Is Flat” by Thomas Friedman explains the migration of job offshore that were a result of technologies like the Internet. The world has changed and old solutions don’t work. This perspective has orientated my efforts on local projects where I can have a home court advantage. Having worked on a retail website of a store a hundred miles away it is clear being local has its advantage even with the web.

An equally alarming book “The Singularity is Near” by Ray Kurzweil who discusses the convergence of living and artificial intelligence coming to a point of Singularity in fifty years. This reminds me of the enthusiasm I had while working on a trading floor developing systems. I could envision all the trading functions on the floor being programmed into one system, if the software was written correctly. I only later came to appreciate the political back lash that would occur with any attempt to rearrange the business.

The Nobel Prize winner Eric Kandel wrote a book on the functioning of the brain-“In Search of Memory.” After reading Kurzweil’s book I felt it important to learn more about how the brain works. Great strides in understanding the mechanisms of learning are presently taking place. Kandel’s approach was to do research on a primitive animal with an accessible neuron. He chooses the Aplisa sea snail with a relatively simple behavior and researched the electrical and chemical processes responsible for short and long term learning.

This about concludes this blog entry intended only as a test to see if functions are working on the new framework.

Next month I am on a movie in a technical capacity, applying my sweat and endurance. I am looking forward to joining the team. Your ego can propel you into distinction but ultimately your humanity seeks acceptance. The families and towns have disintegrated and Wall Street was too competitive for camaraderie so I embrace this oppertunity.

I have not written code for months and my posts have been few. I have not given up on the site just redirected to survival, first, reading over two thousand pages on Microsoft.Net to pass tests, then reading scripts and brushing up on movie technology. Now I am going into the field. I purchased a Treo650, no long are people sitting at their computers but are downloading Ring tones so I joint the crowd. If I have a few moments free I can daydream about going mobile but my goal now is to be a good worker.

I wanted to hook it up so I could post entries on to my site with pictures and words from my Treo but that will take a little effort, for now its snap the picture and download it when I return home, if I have the energy.

I am going to end this post and go search the Internet for 24 frame playback. Time code and synchronization were my passion before I started writing derivative models. I am looking forward to how the years have changed the technology. At one time I was going to invest three hundred K in converting NTSC to PAL using three ceiling high racks of equipment. I am glad I did not, for now it can all be done on a chip. The progression does not make the world easier only means the work left for us incorporates more complexity. If you made it this far I love you.

With the season’s change, the concern grew in me that the knowledge learned here could be used to exploit. Cynical? Yes. For my latest studing has been of Darwin, power and seduction and the over riding evidence is we all act in our self interest, everything else is wishful thinking.

My outlook has been reinforced by the termination of the e-commerce project I worked on for a year. I now have nothing to do with theWellSeasonedNest. I had my concerns involving myself with my brother old friend. The signs of trouble were clear. When I was thirteen he broke a 45 of Ray Charles’s “Hit the Road Jack” and promised to replace it but never did and then after I started the project a friend cautioned me, telling me of his own troubles doing business with the man. I proceeded for I had my own selfish needs to fulfill.

As I despair about the intentions of others, I have to accept that I behave no differently. My goal was to further the technology while they would express to me what they wanted. This works when you are closer but with the separation, issues that arise became faults. The experience did contribute much to my understanding of building a retail web site so I am just as guilty of ruthlessness.

I am returning to developing an application to administrate the site and work as the foundation of a point of sales terminal for in store sales and then port the shopping cart and registry to my gallery. The dream will probable never be realize but the skills I learn will help me survive.

It also gives argument to my growing belief that it is impossible to reason when it comes to getting our needs meet. Any argument can be derived from the truth, requiring a moral framework devised by religion, to keep up from diverging too far from society’s rules.

For me to understand the actions of others I needed to dispense with a moral judgment and evaluate their impact on me, for I could not be objective and would be better severed by fulfilling my own needs.

Then, for example, if there is no morality why don’t we exploit youth for our own prurient purpose? This issue was raised with a discussion of contemporary males. I have been writing to them about loving woman in every conceivable way and the issue drifted down to the lower age boundary. The conversation was particularly relevant to a friend with teenage daughters.

This weekend I entertained two eight year old twin nieces. With their long blond hair dressed like little vixens it is clear that they will break many a man’s heart in their lives. I could appreciate the women they will become without interest in exploiting their innocents. I never have had interest in children or men and regrettable in my life have denied my passion for appropriate females.

These emotions are natural and real it is only when we attempt to constrain what is in our hearts that perversion occurs as what happened in the Catholic Church. I might appear to be taking a pompous position of moral superiority but that is not my intent. Those whom have strayed from their values have lost confidence in life’s purpose.

Our heart and our mind can revel in the wonders of it all. Within us are genes carrying on to the next generation. The world is being enriched by a lyrical display of harmony and confusion. We need not forsake it on an attempt to feed the self.